Technoships and Relationships

I was introduced to two Ryan Binghams today. One was a fictional character from the movie Up in the Air and the other is an alternative country singer. After seeing Ryan Bingham from Up in the Air, I was pretty sure I wanted to write something about how human nature and personal relationships are suffering because of our tech-obsessed world. Then because of technology I was exposed to Ryan Bingham the musician. Call it serendipitous that I googled and fandangoed both of them in one day.

So here is the conundrum, does technology bring us closer or further away from others? True Facebook keeps me connected to high school and college classmates that I might otherwise never speak to. But maybe we’re not supposed to stay that connected. With so many connections it’s easy to lose perspective on our own lives and happiness. We are overexposed to pictures of people’s kids, husbands, wives, houses, cars, and dogs. We read hundreds of tweets and updates about everything from where and what people are eating, to how many babies they are having, and how much weight someone lost or found. I myself have tweeted about having to look at someone’s gunt and posted pictures of the dinner I was eating. It’s overwhelming and difficult to balance your sense of wellbeing, when you are being inundated with all these images. If keeping up with the Jones’ wasn’t hard enough, keeping up with everyone you ever graduated with is absolutely exhausting!

On the other hand, it is because of technology that I was able to connect from watching a trailer of the movie Crazy Heart, liking the song from the trailer, googling it, finding the artist, plugging him into Rhapsody, where I enjoyed his entire catalog of albums. I then posted a link on my facebook telling all my friends to check out Ryan Bingham. Certainly in this case technology brought Ryan Bingham and me a lot closer. But while I was busy with that, I was ignoring Dave, the person in the kitchen with me.

Which makes me wonder how often I give 100% of my attention to anything or anyone anymore. Even as I write this blog, I am listening to music, and screening a cell phone call. Thich Nhat Hanh writes, “The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” How can we possibly stay mindful in this day and age? Certainly this practice was much easier before Iphones, Blackberrys, and Facebook. We might not have had as many relationships, but perhaps we could give our full attention to the ones we had.

In the end, I believe that technology creates more connections and technoships, but I am not sure it fabricates real relationships. These are made through long dinners with great glasses of wine, walks in the fall, late night adventures, road trips, laughing till you cry, and holding someone while they sob. Technoships are held together by comments posted below a picture, rushed written greetings, voyeurism, and virtual bouquets of flowers. Nothing can take the place of being physically, mentally, and emotionally there for someone.

So while I enjoy listening to Ryan Bingham’s music coming from my laptop, and I find myself recalling certain scenes from Up in the Air, a movie I saw on a huge screen, in surround sound, with high definition technology. The best part of my day was waking up next to Dave, petting my dog, and eating a delicious dinner, all real, tangible, wonderful moments.

I will now proofread and post this on my blog, Facebook, and Twitter account. As a result technology can once again create connections, but hopefully we will find the time to strengthen our relationships with those in the same room as us.

http://www.theupintheairmovie.com/

http://www.binghammusic.com/